Who We Are
We are sex addicts who have recovered. This means that our obsession has been removed. It means we do not have to be shielded from temptation. We do not manage triggers. We do not control our travels so that we won't be tempted. We do not have to be careful about how much money we have in our pockets. We do not have to snap rubber bands on our wrists. We do not worry if illness, being out of town or other circumstances cause us to miss a meeting. We do not have to keep fresh in our mind the past consequences of our last debacle or imagine the potential consequences in order to keep ourselves sober. We are free. When temptation does arise, we found we have been given the ability to react like we are about to hurt ourselves. We have access to this gift as long as we practice specific principles in every aspect of our lives.
Our recovery was not accomplished by methods that are commonly used in S.A.A. today, though many of us first tried those methods unsuccessfully. We found freedom by the methods espoused by the pioneers of the 12 Step program. These precise methods can only be found in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. As far as we are concerned, it is what worked for us. Humility demands that we are only equipped to pass along that with which we were successful.
This process was not easy, soft or gentle for any of us. It is a difficult program because it demands that we take actions that we really didn't want to do. We worked these Steps only because going back to our addiction was our only other choice. Going back to addictive sexual behavior was too painful for us. We recommend this program only to those who are without other options, who are without hope of recovery by any other method. After all, if we were to be successful, we had to completely give ourselves to this simple program. This meant the elimination of all other options by actually testing them.
As time has passed our numbers have grown. Persistence in our way of living, faith in the Power which keeps our obsession at bay and keeping our focus on the fundamentals has paid off. We continue to live free of the obsession and now our lives have taken on a real purpose. This is the greatest gift we have received.
What is sex addiction and how can I tell if I have it?
There are many different definitions of addiction. The treatment and therapy industries probably have their own definition. The state/government may have a different definition. But, the addiction model, for which the Twelve Step Program can be effective, is specific. It is discussed in the Doctor's Opinion of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
We believe and so suggested a few years ago that the action of alcohol on the chronic alcoholics is the manifestation of an allergy; that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker. Alcoholics Anonymous Pg xxviii 4th Ed.
As a fellowship Sex Addicts Anonymous cannot express any opinion on therapy, good or bad. It is considered to be an outside issue (reference Traditions 8 & 10). Individual members of our fellowship may have had good experiences with therapy or not, but when expressing an opinion one way or the other, they do so as individuals but not as members of S.A.A. Since therapy/treatment is an outside issue and/or an outside enterprise, we are clearly stating that these things are not the same as a Twelve Step Program. Their methods and goals are different than that of the Twelve Step Program. We merely wish to point out that therapy, treatment and professional counseling should not be confused with working the Twelve Steps.
Dr. Bob, one of the co-founders of the Twelve Step movement, in his final address to Alcoholics Anonymous said,
Let's keep this thing simple. Let's not louse this thing up with a lot of Freudian complexes and things which are very interesting to the scientific mind, but have very little to do with our actual A.A. work. Our Twelve Steps, when simmered down to the last, resolve themselves into the words “Love” and “Service.”